Foi ao ar [EUA]: 22/10/2007

Quando os amigos acabam dividindo as histórias sobre como se conheceram, a nova namorada de Ted tem uma reação tão estranha às histórias do grupo que entra na escala de Barney.

Roteirista: Gloria Calderon Kellett
Direção: Pamela Fryman
Participações Especiais: Jolie Jenkins (Alexa), Ray Auxais (Phil), Abigail Spencer (BlahBlah), Betsy Rue (Audrey).

Teoria do Episódio: Escala de Gostosura/Loucura

Quotes

Barney: Wow, you bought that?
Ted: What?
Barney: I just made that up mid-pee. If it worked on you, it’s definitely gonna work on the blonde chick at the end of the bar, unless you’re a total idiot. What’s your name?
Ted: Ted.
Barney: You a total idiot, Ted?
Ted: Well, I’m still having this conversation.

Barney: It’s about believing you can, even though you probably can’t.

BlahBlah: You guys dated? For how long?
Robin: A year. But, don’t worry. The relationship wasn’t that good. At the end, it was mostly about sex. Which wasn’t that good. I was the problem. I just lie there. But Ted is very good. He will get you where you need to go.

Marshall: I’m sorry, who are you again?
Ted: This is Barney, I met him the other day. He is kind of a jackass.
Barney: I’m teaching Ted how to live. And lucky you, I have room for one more student. Think of me as Yoda. Only instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I’m awesome! I’m your bro. I’m broda!

Barney: Let’s see how BlahBlah is doing on the crazy/hot scale. She started the night here on the hot side but, as the night progressed, she’s got crazier but no hotter which has caused her to drift across the Mendonza diagonal dangerously close to the Shelly Gilespie zone, another girl I dated. She gained 20 pounds and tried to kill me with a brick.

Barney: There’s no way she’s above the line on the ‘hot/crazy’ scale.
Ted: She’s not even on the ‘hot/crazy’ scale; she’s just hot.
Robin: Wait, ‘hot/crazy’ scale?
Barney: Let me illustrate! A girl is allowed to be crazy as long as she is equally hot. Thus, if she’s THIS crazy, she has to be THIS hot. You want the girl to be above this line. Also known as the ‘Vickie Mendoza Diagonal’. This girl I dated. She played jump rope with that line. She’d shave her head, then lose 10 pounds. She’d stab me with a fork, then get a boob job. I should give her a call.

BlahBlah: So, we know how Marshall and Lily met… Robin, how did you and Barney meet?
Robin: No. (laughs) No, no, no, no. No, no no, no, no, no, no, no - no. Barney and I are not together. No. No.
Barney: Really? Sixteen “no’s”? Really?

Barney: Ted, the only hot girls that troll the Internet for dudes are crazy, hookers or dudes.
Ted: OK, she’s not crazy, she’s not a hooker, she’s not a dude. Though there’s this guy I pass on my way to work every day who’s all three - scares the hell out of me!

Ted: I’m ‘Too Much Tongue Guy’.
Lily: And I’m ‘Unreasonably Small Mouth-Opening Girl’.
Barney: Worst… superheroes… ever.

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